An Outrageous Request: My Debt to Craig Finn

[iterate]

Two years ago, at the age of fifteen, things were sorta rough. Abusive alcoholic stepfather, crippling poverty, crippling illness, disabled (and abusive) mother, bleak educational outlook. Generally, everything was terrible and I didn't know what to do. The high quantities of pain medicine made things worse, and frequent trips to the hospital made school even rougher than it had been previously. I know everyone faces struggles and I'm not here to capitalize on mine or pretend that I'm somehow an exception because of all of this. I recognize now that what I did was, essentially, just whining, and that he took it well. Who's he? Craig Finn, of course.

I sent the MySpace page for "The Hold Steady" an email. What was it? Why, a 1,000 word life story telling of rape, drug abuse, alcoholism, depression, and a myriad of other things. While ridiculous and very 15-year-old-me, someone seemed to think it was worth replying to. To this day, I don't know if it was Craig or not, but this is the reply I received:

Hey, this is Craig Finn! I read your shit and figured you were worth taking two minutes out of my day to talk to! Actually, I just read your whole story and it is indeed something that is worth a song or a book or a movie. I'm really happy to hear that you have found joy in our music and hope you continue to do so. We certainly have a good time making it. I looked up Lumberton and it isn't super close to anywhere we play regularly, but hopefully our paths will cross at some point. I wish you the best with your medical issues and hope you continue to do well in school. Academics can open up a lot of doors down the road. Meanwhile, have you ever read The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint by Brady Udall? If not, I recommend it. I think you'll like it for some reason. Take care. Craig Finn.

I read the book and took his advice. I broadened my musical horizons and started using music strategically to combat negative emotions. I'm not some happy-all-the-time zombie, but I'm not wandering through life looking for ways to spend more time asleep and therefore less time hurting. Things got much worse for me, but then got much better. I'm not in the best situation right now (homeless at 17, for one thing), but I'm staying positive. And I have lots to be positive about:

I'm healthier than I've ever been. I got into an early-college-entrance program and so, upon graduating high school in May, I will have three years of college completed. I've been accepted to Plan II at UT, and will be combining it with three other degrees (probably English, Philosophy, and Latin), and going on to graduate school in the hopes of becoming an English professor. Craig Finn has helped me do more than I could ever imagine, both through his music and through this one instance of direct contact. I recognize that this is a really ridiculous degree of hero worship, but I legitimately feel that I could not have made it through so much -life- without his help. I will never be able to repay him.

I just want a good way of getting in touch to let him know how things are working out. I don't feel entitled to it, and I can understand why he may not want that/care. However, I don't feel right having received such tremendous assistance from someone and not crediting that someone fully, and in some way that they may see.

I'm sorry if this isn't the place for this, or if I sound crazy. Things have been rough. He helped. I want him to know that.

[howard]

Hey iterate,

I read your poignant email and think your honesty is wonderful, not least as I know a similar story about someone in the UK for whom Craig took time to reply to her letter and it got her through a very tough time.

I'm quite sure Craig will learn about your story - there's easily a dozen people on these boards who might pass on the message.

As the man said, stay positive.

[iterate]

Okay. Thank you. If anyone does pass it along, could that person please notify me somehow? It'll just feel good to know that it's done.

[bloodystereos]

Keep up the good work, it sounds like you're on the right track. As much as is sucks, you have to make yourself the priority. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

Try sending a PM to "Tourbus", who is a member on these boards. They can probably make sure Craig receives your message.

[iterate]

Goddamn.. That cross-thread advice struck me directly in the tear ducts. It's so much more effective posted here than posted there, simply because it was unexpected. And I'm going to make a concerted effort to stop rhyming off-beat.

Thanks for the person to PM. Someone else said they would work on it, so I'll wait to hear back from them before I start bugging other people (I really don't want to be a bother), but will definitely move on if the current volunteer is unsuccessful. Thanks again.

Thanks for the encouragement.

This seems like such a great community. Cheers to all of you.

[iterate]

Someone got my message to Craig and let me know that he remembers me and is glad things are better -- thanks, all.

[stringer]

Good on ya!